The phone call came late Monday afternoon.
I am sorry, but I have some bad news...
That feeling I hadn’t felt in a while sprouted in the pit of my stomach...
Not again...I thought this part was over...
My face and voice betrayed the emotions churning inside. Evening tasks continued as normal...steady hands...strong voice...unshakeable faith...solid as a rock...
But as bedtime neared, my mind was troubled...
Then this heart began to crack...fissures appeared on each side growing larger and larger until...the top layer was shredded and anguish squeezed outward and upward until hot tears burned my eyes and left tracks in my makeup as they slid down my checks...
I grabbed a washcloth and started to bathe my face...and asked THAT question...
Why, Lord?
I don’t understand...I thought...You promised...I was sure...
Why?
I finished my nightly rituals and climbed into bed...reading glasses and tissues in hand...
Grabbing my big parallel Bible...my nighttime Bible...I pressed it tightly against my chest...almost trying to wrap His word around my aching heart and cried out...
My feelings are a wreck right now, Lord...my thoughts are messed up...but Your Word is sure...please speak truth to my heart tonight...truths I know...but need to be reminded of right now...help me, God...
Wiping my eyes and nose, I picked up the little “Streams in the Desert” devotional book that is always the first order of the evening...
I opened to August 17th and began to read...
I have faith in God
that it will happen
just as he told me.
Oh, boy...grabbed the tissue again...there it was...the truth...I knew...but so desperately needed to read...
Is our God great or what?
I am SO thankful that regardless of the turmoil around me...God’s dominion is sovereign...His truth is unfailing...His promises are certain...and His love is never ending...
He fashioned my beginning...is shaping and molding my present...and refining my ending...and carries them all in His mighty hand...
And my bad news?
By Tuesday afternoon...that part of the battle was over...
Sweet victory in Jesus!
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26 thoughts:
Thanks Karen. I had put Streams down this year, and have been reading other things. Maybe it just needs to be a read every single year book.
Love you!
I can so relate to your honest post, about the struggle to trust God.
I, too, have slept with my Bible, at the end of a difficult day, because of the feeling there is nothing left to trust---but God and is Word.
I'm glad things are better.
So glad it ended well. PTL! Many blessings to you!
God is so faithful. I love you sis.
oh wow Karen! I love this post. I love how you kept pressing in, and then He spoke His reassurance to your heart. Sometimes when I get very rocked by something, I struggle to come to the God... which is silly because that' when I need touch the most. The turmoil keeps me anxious and tossed by my emotions. This post has re-inspired me to keep pressing in... even when my flesh doesn't want to.
thank you Karen...
Such a beautiful verse Karen. Victory in Jesus, My Savior Forever!
Karen my our Lord tightly hold you in His arms. And hallelujah for the victory!! Blessings.
Isn't it wonderful how He orchestrates everything? Thank you for sharing your heart!
When it gets bumpy..and feels like He's not there, and then He gives you confirmation of what He's already said, and we hold on to it with white knuckles...and then...He does it!! SWEET VICTORY!! Nothing as sweet! Nothing as powerful as knowing!!
Praise GOD!! Shoutin' Hallelujah for His GLORY!! He's the B.E.S.T!!
Love,
Julie
We have the victory in Jesus
in every circumstance, every
trial. We can all relate to
what you've said here.
I've been reading Streams for
the last ten years. Each year
it seems new again.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Love,
Sandy
Thanks for this wonderful post!!
Love your captivating story!! So glad it got better...
kim
yes amen, sweet victory in Jesus, that is where we go to gain victory and to get peace from him.Hugs and blessings, Barbara
Your trust in Him paid off and now His love will blanket you! I am so happy everything worked out and you turned to Him in your time of need. You are blessed!
Though you didn't share what the bad news was, I felt like I was right alongside you in your pain. In my mind I was thinking the worst....but by the next day it was resolved? Praise God! Rejoicing with you!
I want nothing more from this life than to get out of God's way so He can do a work in me. It is my failure to trust that thwarts my efforts every time. I am grateful for your honesty, for making me feel so NOT alone in my struggles. Your courage to share is a blessing to many.
WOW Karen!!! What a testimony to being faithful!
This is so well written! You don't have to love suspense or something.
Maybe you should consider writing suspense novels! You are good, girl... you had me on the edge of my seat all the way through... I'm so thankful that the bad news was a victory. I was concerned that I was not there when you needed someone along side praying YOU through a bad situation for His strength.
I love "Streams in the Desert"...
I love how God puts what we need right in our hands or view or hearing when we call out in need.
I love how your WFW and all this week is a continuous thread once more.
Such a descriptive work of art!
Your words are TOP and Our God is so GOOD!!! Easier when we see the VICTORY so soon... but still soooo gooood! Hallelujah Anyhow!!! Yeah!
So much to be thankful for...
love & peace,
Peggy
Oh wow, Karen. Blessings and prayers and hugs to you. Our God truly is good and wonderful and awesome.
How often life is so hard. And yet God is so faithful. Despite our emotions and at times bad news, God is always with us. I pray that you will be OK.
Blessings and love to you,
Debbie
My friend gave me a copy of streams two years ago and I read the devotional every day. It always reminds me of the promises of God. Karen whatever it is...know I am praying with you and He will do whatever is needed. I beieve that. Stay strong ok.
karen - visiting here from another blog. so glad i popped in because i see the love of our Lord here in a mighty way!
praying for you my friend.
Beth
You are so not alone. I often live in a state of anxiety as if the "other shoe" is going to drop and that next phone call about some drama or difficulty or injury or...well, you know, is right here once again. In this world you will have trouble but take heart for I have overcome the world. Thank you for your transparency. It is so important to be real. And sometimes we tremble...but He is always there beside us! AMEN!
Karen, what a beautifully written post! I too am thankful for His Peace and Assurance during a storm! Thanks for sharing with us your grateful heart for TT this week!
Karen, I am thankful for God's faithfulness through His word, because it shows His great love for us. Streams is one of my favorite devotionals.
Hugs,
Miriam
Praise God, Karen!! His Word is true and true and He is not a man that He should lie. You have written this post as so many others, beautifully. I have so often put my Bible across my heart as I go to bed searching for His truth and peace. It's a good thing.
So you are a Streams in the Desert fan too. It's such an anointed book. I read it daily during my quiet time. As I shared with Cindy over at I Owe it all to Him, now it just connects us even more and we can imagine reading the day's devotional together.
Blessings dear friend.
Yes, I can identify how things crash into your thoughts and emotions just as your head hits the pillow. God is good. He is faithful! Amen. Bless you
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